You’ve seen those couples who look like they were made for each other. It may sound shallow, but be honest—you know exactly what I’m talking about! Scripture does not give us any indication of the appearance of Adam and Eve, but there is no doubt they were made for each other!

The idea conveyed in Genesis 2:18–22 is that God intends to create an indispensable companion for the man. Her contributions would be essential. As his helper, she would do what no one else could. She would not only join in taking care of creation and raising children, but these two would experience the mutual support of companionship.

The animals are presented to the first man Adam for him to name, but none of them pass the implicit test in the helper fit for him department. So God provides what is missing, or who is missing. God did not make the woman out of dust like man and the animals, but from the very body of the man.

An often-quoted description by the seventeenth-century theologian Matthew Henry communicates the spirit of the text:

Not made out of his head to top him,
not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him,
but out of his side to be equal with him,
under his arm to be protected,
and near his heart to be beloved.

Henry’s description, though sweet and flowery, is also a glimpse into the ideal of marriage as a relationship marked by harmony and intimacy.

Adam and Eve were made for each other. In what ways are you and your husband made for each other?

“If you want to experience the truth of Genesis 2:24, just marry a soldier, sailor, airman, coastguardsman, or marine. You will then understand to the fullest what God had in mind when he gave the instruction to leave and cleave!” These words from veteran military wife Carol ring true. “Cleave” (the term used in older English translations for this verse) is a word packed with meaning that needs to stick in the minds and hearts of every married couple. In fact, that is exactly the translation of cleave: to stick with. The word describes the “inseparable relationship between the man and the woman in marriage as God intended.”

Carol recalls the emotions she experienced when, after nine months of marriage, her husband received military orders to Germany. She said, “The idea of going to another country made me think I might never see my parents again.” She questioned whether the love she and her husband had for each other would be strong enough to withstand the adjustment of life without her mom and dad.

“Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” speaks of the uniting of a husband and wife as one. The wording of Scripture in Genesis 2:24 conveys the radical nature of the marriage union. Consider the case of a female egg and male sperm coming together to form a new human being. One day that new person will physically depart the mother’s body and live separately. Though this child shares traits, genes, and relationships with others, the child has an identity apart from the family of origin.

Just as we cut the umbilical cord at the birth of a new baby, there must be a separation from mom and dad so we can stick with and hold fast to a spouse. A mama wants to hold tight to a newborn baby, but it would be absurd—and unhealthy—for her to want the umbilical cord to remain intact.

Marriage does not mean you forget about your family of origin, but does mean your primary family identity now comes with your spouse. A new union that creates a new family happens when you say, “I do.” This union between a man and woman goes beyond physical union toward the union of spirits through love and concern, faithfulness and devotion, support and involvement.

What does healthy emotional sustainment look like? What are the dangers of leaning too hard on your husband for emotional sustenance? What other sources of emotional support do you have? How does a military marriage enhance or discourage emotional sustainment?

Intimacy and vulnerability are two words that make me uncomfortable. These words share a strong connection, because in order to be intimate I must be willing to be vulnerable. Imagine a time without vulnerability—but there it is in Genesis 2:25: “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Naked. The word alone communicates vulnerability.

Yet at creation Adam and Eve were two completely comfortable and uninhibited sojourners in paradise. Naked did not conjure up feelings of body image, insecurity, acceptance, exposure, or exploitation. Naked and unashamed was God’s intended plan for marriage. The original state of being for Adam and Eve was intimacy. God provided everything they required and they were content.

God defined the initial concept of intimacy by nakedness, which he characterized by innocence and integrity. Adam and Eve hid nothing from each other. They had no secrets, no agendas, no deception, and therefore no shame. Their nakedness represented openness and trust.

Physical nakedness is a gift for a husband and wife to enjoy together. It is also a metaphor for the emotional and spiritual intimacy of marriage. To disrobe my fears and failures feels risky. What if my husband does not like what he sees in me? Deeper levels of intimacy take time as we erratically remove each layer of concealment until our souls are bare and we are not ashamed.

As the years progress in marriage, two naked bodies will fade from their youthful beauty. But two naked souls can grow into a lovely intimacy that will keep the gleam in the eye ’til death do you part.

How would you define emotional intimacy? What are ways you nurture emotional intimacy in your marriage?

A tree at one of my childhood homes was filled with beautiful orange fruit. Our family assumed it was an orange tree and we eagerly awaited the time we could pick the oranges and enjoy fresh juice for breakfast. The day finally came! We plucked the lovely oranges from the tree. We juiced the oranges. We tasted the juice. We all ran for the sink to spit out the vile tasting liquid! The tree deceived us. Its fruit was for ornamentation, not for consumption.

We cannot know what type of fruit Eve and Adam ate in the garden that led to their downfall, but the iconic symbol has become the apple. Like the oranges of my childhood, the fruit looked delicious (and probably was). Moreover, it seemed to hold a special ability to enhance mental faculties that would make one wise. At the urging of the serpent, Eve decided to take a bite and disregard God’s warning. Adam, who was with her, wanted to taste the fruit too—and he did.

The act had dire consequences. Eating the fruit ultimately led to their deaths, but the first price recorded in Genesis was the loss of unfettered intimacy as they covered themselves with leaves. Their nakedness was more than skin deep. Disobedience had torn apart a perfect intimacy of souls and wrapped their wounded spirits in the coverings of distorted desire, distrust, blame, and fear.

Since Adam and Eve left the perfect Garden of Eden, couples have had to work hard to rebuild any semblance of their original intimacy. Even in good circumstances, intimacy can take a long time to develop. When we eat the fruit of criticism, distrust, or deceit, intimacy will elude us and we miss a particular purpose God intends for marriage.

Take a lesson from Eve. No matter how tasty a forbidden fruit appears, it doesn’t compare with shared intimacy in marriage. Even if one could grant special powers, the results will never match those of following God’s plan for an intimate relationship with your husband.

What factors can erode intimacy in a military marriage? What factors can improve intimacy in a military marriage?