The elephant in the room (or on Facebook) after the publication of a military promotion list is who made the list and who did not. The easiest phone call to make is to congratulate a friend on their husband’s selection for promotion. The hardest, and one we often put off, is to the friend whose husband did not read his name on the list. Why do we tend to avoid interaction with those who have received potentially devastating news? Non-selection for a promotion, a frightening diagnosis, a soured relationship—whatever the difficulty, we can feel awkward and not know what to say. We do not want to say something to make the situation worse, so too often we do not say anything.

Naomi decided that no one needed to be around her in her disappointment. She told her daughters-in-law to leave. She would face misery alone. This would be her solitary misfortune.

Then there was Ruth. Determined could have been her middle name. Naomi argued logically and emphatically why Ruth should leave. Staying meant subjecting herself to Naomi’s doom and despair. But Ruth’s affirming words halted further discussion. That girl was not leaving Naomi, and her choice changed the trajectory of both their lives. Ruth did not have all the right answers or have the ability to make things okay again. But unexpected tragedy brought an unexpected response from her. Something in her made her want to be by Naomi’s side, regardless of the future. In a time of grief and confusion, Ruth pledged her companionship. She promised to continue the journey with Naomi, accept Naomi’s people, worship Naomi’s God, and end her days in the same place as Naomi.

From the perspective of the person dealing with unexpected transition like Naomi, even though we may want to deal with sorrow alone, we need not push others away. Appreciate the person who does not try to fix what is wrong, but who is willing to offer presence and support. From the perspective of the person who wants to help, like Ruth, affirm your commitment and find a way to reach out without invading privacy. In the hardest times of my life, I do not remember words said, but I remember people who were with me.

Ruth became the link to the restoration of Naomi’s life. You never know when you may be the key link for another by standing with them during a challenging season.

How has the presence of another person helped you during a difficult or traumatic event? How tough is it for you to accept help during such times?

Where is God in this situation? Why is this happening to me? These common questions push their way through the lips of those experiencing tough situations. Whether attributed to the military or a personal crisis common to anyone, such questions are an honest expression of despair and indicate that life from this point will be different.

Life for Naomi and Ruth certainly took a different turn. Their unwanted status as widows flipped Naomi and Ruth’s place in society upside down. In a patriarchal culture, they lost their identity and security. A wife who hears her husband say he wants a divorce, or a woman who loses her child can feel this same sense of loss. Life as we know it can change in a moment. We look around and ask, “God, where are you? Why is this happening to me?”

Sister, can I tell you God is there, even when you do not see him? Naomi and Ruth discovered God’s presence when they were trying to find a way to survive. Ruth did what she had to do to put bread on the table. Gleaning in the field was her culture’s method of food stamp distribution. Hebrew law allowed the poor to gather the leftover grain after the harvest. God established the principle to provide for the poor (Deuteronomy 24:19–21). No doubt Ruth was among other poor folks in the community looking for the bits of grain left behind.

Scripture uses an interesting phrase to describe the scene. Ruth “happened to come upon the field” of a distant wealthy relative (Ruth 2:3). Before we jump to the end of the story, we need to pause and note that the concept of fate, luck, or chance cannot be read into this verse; that is not the Old Testament view of God’s sovereignty. The writer of Ruth emphasized that the human initiative of Ruth or Boaz did not orchestrate this event. Rather, the hand of God was working behind the scenes.

Not only do we see the hand of God directing Ruth to the right field, but God also put compassion and concern into the heart of Boaz for the young Moabite woman who had made it her responsibility to care for her mother-in-law. When Naomi learned where Ruth had been and heard the favor that she received from Boaz, it gave her a spark of hope to think that God’s invisible hand was working on their behalf.

How does Matthew 28:20b answer the question, “Where is God in this situation?” How do James 1:2–4 and 1 Corinthians 13:9–10, 12 give you hope when you find yourself asking the question, “Why is this happening to me?”

Ruth took the step she knew to take—a step of survival to glean in the field among the poor. Naomi saw the next step forward when she realized that, according to their culture, Boaz would be an acceptable relative to take Ruth as a wife. She instructed Ruth on the appropriate method to propose marriage to Boaz. Things looked more hopeful than they had in a long time!

Before we sing, “Here Comes the Bride,” realize that this was not the final step bringing Ruth and Boaz to the altar. Another man had first rights to marry Ruth and acquire her father-in-law’s land. Isn’t that the way life often goes? We take one step, then another, but there is no guarantee things will work out for good. Each step is a step of faith. We rarely complete major transitions with one giant step. Nor must we take unlimited baby steps to get where we need to be. Hope arrives when we recognize the Lord can order our steps as we look to him for help.

The words of Taya Kyle, wife of murdered Navy Seal Chris Kyle, make this principle personal. This is from a letter she wrote for the “Note to Self” series on CBS This Morning:

Dear Taya, There’s so much I could tell you that you’re going to experience—joy beyond your wildest dreams, and a grief so terrible you’ll be sure it will break you. I wish I could keep you from the pain, but life isn’t like that.

When you’re in your early twenties, you will meet a man who will change your life. His name is Chris Kyle … The two of you will fall madly in love and decide to spend the rest of your lives together.

Chris is a Navy SEAL. He believes in God, Country, and Family, just like you do. He’ll serve four tours in Iraq. Then, finally, he’ll come home. Things will seem … perfect. Until one day, one horrible, terrible, very long day, the very worst will happen when you least expect it.

It’s not going to be easy. In the end you’ll reach deep inside yourself to find the strength to carry through. Try and remember these things as you go on your journey: You like to be independent but you will need to learn to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak.

Sometimes you will think you can’t take it another day. But if you hang in there, one step at a time, you will be able to accomplish more than you ever imagine.

Ruth and Naomi had no idea how their story would end, yet they kept taking steps forward. What keeps you moving forward when it would be easier to quit? What does it mean to you to take steps of faith?

I looked with dread at the day circled on the calendar. The anniversary of my father’s death was imminent. Other than my husband, my dad was my greatest cheerleader and source of emotional support. Our family misses his kindness, wisdom, and sacrificial love. But something happened this year to change the way I view this anniversary. A sweet little granddaughter was born! A day that sorrow had overshadowed is now a day filled with joy. I will not forget my father’s death, but the day has been redefined from one of sorrow to one of joy.

Naomi would have taken it as a cruel joke if someone had told her, after she lost her husband and sons in a foreign land, “Take heart! One day you will hold in your arms a grandson who will be the grandfather of Israel’s greatest king!” Yet that is exactly what happened!

Ruth 4 is the story of Boaz making Ruth his wife, a story of redemption that redefined the sorrow not only of Ruth, but of Naomi. A baby was born and God gave Naomi a new reason to live—a blessing she could hold in her arms. But Naomi’s redemption went far beyond the joy of holding Obed. Her blessing became a testimony to her neighbors.

The book ends with a genealogy of Obed’s son and grandson, Jesse and David (Ruth 4:18–22). This inclusion can seem an afterthought, but you don’t want to miss the meaning. It communicates God’s providence and care beyond the life of one woman. Obed’s birth takes on new significance when you trace his lineage to David, who played a significant role in the redemption of an entire nation. Then trace David’s lineage to the birth of Jesus in the New Testament book of Matthew. Do you see it? Nestled in God’s redemption for Naomi was the seed of his plan of redemption for the world through Jesus Christ.

My sister, it is always easier to identify the hand of God looking backward rather than forward into the unknown. When going through a season of transition, do not attempt to tie God’s hands or fail to look at what he is doing. Have faith in all that God is going to do. He can more than salvage a situation—God can redeem it and make it new!

How does the story of Ruth and Naomi give you hope and courage for times of difficult transition? How does God’s kindness demonstrated in this book encourage you?