Rules, rules, and more rules. Just like some people see the military as only a life of rules and regulations, there are those who view the Ten Commandments as a list of rules impossible to keep and made to be broken. If this is your view, you miss a rich and endearing truth. The Ten Commandments are more than rules to live by; they are words that offer insight into the nature and character of a loving and just God.

Do not miss the message held in Exodus 20:1: God himself uttered the words. He issued the commandments based on his personal and sovereign dealings with people whom he loved and who were to love and obey him.

Thousands of years later, the public display of the Ten Commandments is an issue argued by lawyers in the highest courts of the land. Their mention brings contempt to some and comfort to others. The astonishing aspect of the Ten Commandments is that they were not carefully researched, debated, and organized by the wisest men in the best schools or seminaries of the day. As stated, God gave them in the midst of national turmoil for Israel. The Israelites left their homes, were chased by an army, lived day-to-day depending on food from heaven to survive, and never knew if the next place they moved to would have water. In essence, God turned their lives upside down and on the surface, their future looked uncertain. In the midst of this turmoil, God revealed divine truths that not only gave guidance then, but also have been words of truth for every generation since.

So what does that mean to a girl missing her husband? Challenging circumstances such as deployment can bring a feeling of turmoil. However, it may be during such a time that you find God come to you with a fresh understanding of his divine truth. Such truth can serve as a lasting guide not just for this deployment but also throughout your life. Look in God’s Word; see what he has to show you.

It was during a deployment that Marie sought out a Bible study with some other women in her husband’s unit. In Marie’s own words:

Reflecting back on four deployments, I can clearly see how God drew me closer to him during those times. This happened mostly through studying the Bible with other military wives. There, I found a safe place to explore God for who he is. God used his word and the relationships I developed in those studies to prune and grow me in my faith.

What are some things God is teaching you or has taught you during deployment? How have you made yourself open and available to learn things about God during this time?

When Glendon Perkins became a prisoner of war in North Vietnam, his wife Kay knew she would need strength to survive and to raise their four children. But she didn’t know how much strength it would take. And she didn’t know she would need it for six and a half years. “Now it seems like it was such a short time,” Kay Perkins said. “While I was living through it, though, it seemed like an eternity.”

Kay Perkins waited for her husband to return from war for over six years. She was faithful. She was vigilant. She even found ways to help other wives who were waiting for their husbands to return. Glendon and Kay did not become a negative statistic of war.

The Israelites needed Kay Perkins around while they waited for Moses to return from atop the mountain. When Moses went on Operation Ten Commandments in the clouds with God, the Israelites down below did not know if he was just delayed or if he would even return at all. Moses was gone approximately six weeks when the Israelites became impatient. Their impatience implied that God had lost control of the situation. Their faith in God was weak, so in the downtime they decided to take matters into their own hands. A later generation describes the scene in the Psalms: “But they soon forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel. But they had a wanton craving in the wilderness, and put God to the test in the desert; … They made a calf in Hebron and worshiped a metal image. They exchanged the glory of God for the image of an ox that eats grass.” (Psalm 106:13–14, 19–20)

The Israelites went to Aaron and asked him to make a god they could see and touch. Aaron took their gold earrings and formed them into a golden calf. The guidelines for their new god allowed them to engage in immoral behavior. The situation that unfolded illustrates that when people give up on God, they turn to something else to satisfy their basic human nature.

Sister, guard your heart and mind in the downtime when mentally you know your husband will return, but emotionally it feels like it will never happen. Some have convinced themselves that adultery, substance abuse, or excessive shopping and eating can replace faithful waiting. Such activities only serve as an insufficient and superficial replacement for a close relationship with God that will enable you to wait faithfully.

What are some boundaries you can set for yourself in the downtime as you wait for your husband to return? What danger is there in dwelling on the thought that deployment is taking too long?

If you could speak to your husband’s commanding officer today, what would you say to him or her about your husband, yourself, and your family?

During this difficult time in the early years of the nation of Israel, Moses had the unique privilege of speaking face to face with God—as a man speaks to a friend. Moses was at home in God’s presence. There was unrestricted dialogue between Moses and God. Moses spoke to God in a personal way about issues concerning the Israelites. He even spoke to God about his own personal struggles. This was a unique relationship. No other Israelites could speak with God in this way. The rest of the Israelites had to stand at the door of the tent. For them, God was at a distance.

Today, we have the privilege to have conversation with God in this same manner as Moses, based on the work of Jesus Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit. Through the death and resurrection of Jesus, we have access to God the Father. We too may have unrestricted dialogue with God. The Holy Spirit helps us verbalize and communicate with God in ways we could not do on our own. The Holy Spirit knows the deep things in our heart that we may not even be able to verbalize. Romans 8:26 offers this description:

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26).

Ultimately, that means our level of communication with God today can go beyond even the unique relationship God had with Moses!

The face-to-face discussions of Moses with God resulted in direction and renewed determination to lead. God filled Moses with the delight of his abiding presence.

So sister, pull up a chair, grab a cup of tea or coffee, and sit down with the Lord. Tell him the deep issues on your heart.

If you do not practice writing in a prayer journal, consider starting the practice. Such a journal can be a tool to facilitate spiritual growth and nurture your communication with God. How has prayer helped you through this deployment thus far? Using Scripture is an effective way to pray. Consider the prayer below taken directly from Paul’s letter to the Romans.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a step-by-step guide for navigating deployment? My guess is someone has attempted to write such a book, magazine article, or blog post. But who are they kidding? There are no formulas or systematic steps to make sure everything goes according to plan. Deployment is something you just have to go through. It reminds me of the children’s verse about going on a bear hunt:

Can’t go under it.

Can’t go over it.

Can’t go around it.

Got to go through it.

It is the how to go through a situation that can trip us on the way.

Moses found himself in need of direction on how to get through the desert and into the Promised Land. He came to God looking for an answer as if to say, “Show me the step-by-step way to get from here to there.” He had a real need for God to give him practical guidance. Face it—this had not been an easy journey. The Israelites were a challenging group of people to lead and, besides, who knew what dangers they might encounter ahead.

At this point, God added a new dimension to the journey when he said to Moses, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Wow! In these few words God did not just provide an answer, God wanted Moses to see he was the answer.

God reassured Moses that he would bring the people through the desert to the Promised Land. He promised rest, which usually meant an end to evil, an enemy, hostility, or adversity. More than that, God promised his very presence.

In the Gospel according to John, Jesus encountered a woman who was drawing water at a well (John 4:5–42). The woman was at the well for a practical reason—she needed water for her physical thirst. Jesus offered her living water. He did not just provide an answer; he wanted her to see he was the answer.

In the process of asking God how to get through a situation, do not miss the message that God wants not only to provide you practical help; he wants to provide you with his presence. Let God show you he is the answer you need.

Where do you fall on the trust versus control continuum? What makes it hard for you to trust God as the answer?