How are you at multitasking? I do not mean eating breakfast and thinking about lunch simultaneously—I have that down to a fine art. Multitasking is the ability to handle more than one task at a time. As much as we value and try to improve our multitasking ability, research reports that it is not good for our bodies or our minds. Yet we continue to challenge the naysayers, and some of us are even successful at holding a sleeping baby with one hand while quietly emptying the dishwasher with the other.

Research does, however, provide strong proof that multitasking can wear you out physically and emotionally. In other words, beware of trying to do too much. Be especially vigilant during the reintegration process. As you focus on rebuilding routine and ritual back into your family, watch for threats like exhaustion and irritability from trying to do it all at one time.

Nehemiah’s team of builders put new meaning to multitasking as they worked with one hand with weapons in the other. Their challenge was not only multitasking, but feeling isolated. Each family was responsible for a section of the wall with broad space between each section. It was easy to feel cut off and secluded, to believe the threat of enemy attack was ever-present. To combat the intimidation of “what ifs” Nehemiah established a warning system. The people were to rally to the sound of the trumpet. The builders left no one alone and in danger of ambush.

My friend, you may think you are the only one rebuilding a routine or a relationship while also doing all the other things life demands. But like the Jewish families rebuilding a portion of the city wall, many families in your military community are rebuilding from deployment alongside you.

Sometimes, multitasking is unavoidable. Nehemiah’s wall-builders had no choice but to hold a sword in one hand and lay stones with the other. However, they only did this for fifty-two days—until the wall was complete. The days after redeployment may require family multitasking. If all goes well, and with God’s help, your family can quickly recover from deployment and shift focus to other family concerns.

What can you learn from Nehemiah’s strategy for completing God’s work in Nehemiah 4:9, 14, and 20? In what ways does your family multitask?

On an empty corner by my house stands a lone tree. For the past year, this tree and what it holds have been a source of encouragement and motivation. Last Christmas some creative soul decorated the tree, brightening an otherwise drab community space. But then the decorations were left to the elements. Month after month, I watched them slowly disappear—except for one lone bulb. For well over a year, that little orb has held on to a branch. Last winter, my area of the country saw its share of wind, rain, and even a hefty deposit of snow. Yet that tiny object holds firm.

I find myself looking for the little sphere of hope as I turn the corner. I anticipate the grief of the day I do not spot it among the branches. There were days I related to it hanging there … alone … exposed … vulnerable … but still hanging on.

I see that same spirit in Nehemiah as he walked out perseverance, sacrifice, and personal integrity in the midst of challenging times. It is the same goal Paul expressed in Colossians 1:9–12. I like the paraphrase from The Message:

… We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us …

The strength Paul refers to is the supernatural power of God. The word he uses carries the idea of making strong something or someone that is naturally weak (that’s me!)—not a surge of strength but a steady and constant access to Christ, the source of strength. He prayed that we would have strength to stick it out over the long haul—to persevere—to hang in there. He asked the Father to help us remain steadfast under trial without giving in or giving up, no matter the intensity or length of the testing. His prayer covers various trials we may face: sickness, pain, financial loss, death of a loved one, warfare, persecution, marital problems, a wayward child, deployment, reintegration, even a duty station where we just cannot seem to find our place.

Sisters, this is the lesson I learned as I watch the tenacious Christmas bulb: The strength to hang on is not just to hang on. God gives his strength, not just to let us breathe another breath to survive, but to enable us to speak words of hope and encouragement to help others thrive. His strength is not just to help us open our eyes to another dawn, but to help us open our eyes to behold the glory of his majesty all around us. He strengthens us to walk through another day, but that is not where it stops. With God’s help, we can climb over obstacles, run and not grow weary, and “take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.”

How do you see God’s power working in your life to help you hang on? What step forward might God want you to make today?

Say it with me: “no.” Come on, you can do better: “No.” You are almost there. Say it one more time with conviction: “NO!” That wasn’t so hard, was it? Actually, trust me, I know how hard it can be to say no. Why is that little word such a challenge to get out of a mouth?

In The Best Yes, Lysa TerKeurst writes, “Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is worth the less.” She encourages her readers to “Find that courageous yes. Fight for that confident no.”

The wall was almost finished. Nehemiah and his team could see the approaching completion of their labor. Then what happened? The enemies of the returning exiles reared their mischievous heads again with an invitation for Nehemiah to meet them. These folks would not take no for an answer. They knew that once Nehemiah finished rebuilding the wall, a political and economic resurgence would occur in the region. They did not want to see a shift in the balance of power that would come with the completed structure. They set out to distract, discredit, and intimidate Nehemiah.

Rebuilding the wall was not something Nehemiah decided to do on a whim. God called him to do the work—a work so significant he could not afford to be distracted. He responded to those who would sidetrack him with a confident “no”: “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?”

When your husband returns from a deployment—short or long—you may be tempted to say, “Good, you’re home! Now I can _____________.” Oh, but may I issue a caution? Exercise determination to be steadfast in reestablishing your family. Guard against distractions that can keep you from family priorities. Am I encouraging you to say no to everything and only do the family huddle? Of course not, but use wisdom in those things to which you say yes.

How does 1 Corinthians 15:58 relate to the scene in Nehemiah 6? What can you learn about priorities from Nehemiah’s example?

Completed. Finished. Done.

Have you ever worked on a project wondering when you would be able to say those words? Whatever the length, a deployment can feel like it will never be completed, finished, done. Reintegration sometimes bring us to the question, “Are we finished yet?”

Nehemiah and his team of builders completed the work in record time—fifty-two days. Notice the perspective of Nehemiah, “… this work had been accomplished with the help of our God.” Nehemiah could not attribute the accomplishment to ordinary human effort. The timeframe was impressive, but the timeframe was not the point. God’s work on behalf of the people was the point. God was the one who stirred the hearts of people to work, to persevere and finally to prosper.

Nehemiah proclaimed that the wall was completed, but he did not mean the work was done. The same goes for family life. Reaching normalcy does not mean you quit. Keep reading in Nehemiah 6 and you will discover that the hostilities toward the returning Jews continued. Rebuilding the wall was not an end in itself, but it was a step toward continued positive reform for the returning nation.

No one has been able to set parameters and time limits for reintegration following deployment. The goal is to get back to a sense of normalcy. It may happen in fifty-two days—or not. The timeframe is not the goal.

Friend, I write these words to encourage you and remind you that we are people in process. We can never say, “We are done,” because we are always facing the next step in the process toward better and stronger. Isn’t that what we want for our relationships—with God, with family members, with ourselves?

How can you relate this quote from Winston Churchill to your family life following deployment? “I have no fear of the future. Let us go forward into its mysteries, let us tear aside the veils that hid it from our eyes, and let us move onward with confidence and courage.” In what areas is God calling you to move onward with confidence and courage?